March 2010
31 posts
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"brief" is relative
we will return to your regularly scheduled blogging after a brief commercial break, lasting until april 6th.
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“these are really your options? self-destruct, transform, magic, more magic!...”
– overheard in my living room.
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reverse retard
n. someone with a habit of overthinking the simplest of concepts—who reads the phrase “girls drinking cosmos” and imagines female astronauts slurping intergalactic ether through bendy straws—which is a symptom of an educational overdose, whose only known cure is the ’90s teen sitcom “Saved By The Bell.”
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how to write badly well
Sacrifice motivation for the sake of plotting:
‘So,’ said Doug. ‘We’ve found the evidence we needed. Should we get out of here and contact the authorities?’ Maggie shook her head. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Let’s have another look around. Maybe there’s something we’ve missed.’ ‘Really?’ said Doug, frowning. ‘We’ve got the photos and the hard drive, we’ve miraculously evaded capture and we even solved the...
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“honey, the government isn’t after you… but if they were,...”
– blair patrick myers
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lethologica
noun • inability to remember the correct word
from Lethe, a river of Hades that caused forgetfulness + logikos, the Greek word for word.
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local natives : airplanes
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regarding metaphors, math, & literature
alice felt herself slipping past the border of one world and into the next and she found it curious.
as one capable of being completely paralyzed when faced with simple arithmetic, i find it fascinating the degree to which i was interpolated by the recent times op-ed article entitled algebra in wonderland.
no, it has nothing to do with calculating the potential revenue of tim burton’s...
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jackson: sarah, do you like salty [food]?
me: yes, i do.
jackson: if you want, you can lick my finger [covered in salt from dinner].
me: [barely containing laughter] thank you! that's very kind, but i think i'm okay for now.
--thirty seconds or so elapse--
jackson: salty tastes like BOOgers.
me: boogers? like in your nose?
jackson: yeah, salty tastes like BOOgers.
me: you're absolutely right.
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“sarah, you’re a sad, strange little man.”
– jackson, the five-year-old i babysit.
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monetize THIS!
when roger ebert pictures the internet, it looks like this!
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on john mayer's ni##er pass →
excerpt:
Dare I say, his ass should have known better? Yeah, I’m going to hold him accountable, because nobody else seems to be doing it. I feel like me and this dude, Jon Caramanica, who wrote a piece in the New York Times today are the only people confused by everyone’s ease regarding Mayer’s behavior. Mayer is fully aware that hegemony delivered his white ass (as opposed to an African American...
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