-John Waters
(John Waters, Guest Curator at Walker Art Center, Minneapolis - NYTimes.com)
who wants to go with me?
-John Waters
(John Waters, Guest Curator at Walker Art Center, Minneapolis - NYTimes.com)
who wants to go with me?
An average joe comes in
and orders thirty cheeseburgers and thirty fries.
I wait for him to pay before I start cooking.
He pays.
He ain’t no average joe.
The grill is just big enough for ten rows of three.
I slap the burgers down
throw two buckets of fries in the deep frier
and they pop pop spit spit …
pss …
The counter girls laugh.
I concentrate.
It is the crucial point—
they are ready for the cheese:
my fingers shake as I tear off slices
toss them on the burgers/fries done/dump/
refill buckets/burgers ready/flip into buns/
beat that melting cheese/wrap burgers in plastic/
into paper bags/fries done/dump/fill thirty bags/
bring them to the counter/wipe sweat on sleeve
and smile at the counter girls.
I puff my chest out and bellow:
“Thirty cheeseburgers, thirty fries!”
They look at me funny.
I grab a handful of ice, toss it in my mouth
do a little dance and walk back to the grill.
Pressure, responsibility, success,
thirty cheeseburgers, thirty fries.
yup. @sloped nailed it.
n. a musical flavor found in electric guitar solos that compels you to snarl, squint and bend your spine like a longbow being drawn back to fire a warning shot to your distant ancestors, so they may know that your domestication will not go unavenged.
the mollusks they have won.
while attempting to find the above article online, i entered a keyword phrase that shall go unreplicated here. the following search results accompanied the intended article:
today, i love the internet.
2. Girls are like handwritten blue book-style essays. If you stop and think through what you’re going to say, for just a few seconds, you have an exponentially increased chance at success (success being defined as, of course, not being a befuddling dillweed). […]When you say something to a girl, we listen. We take your words at face value, and then we assess accordingly. We usually consult our closest female friends in the process, putting our collective brainpower to work to figure out what’s going on. Here’s how it usually goes down. “He said he was looking forward to spending more time with me,” says girl A. Girl B, after careful consideration, responds, “Well, I suppose that means he’s looking forward to spending time with you.” You can see, therefore, why saying things without thinking them through could cause frustration and confusion. We don’t like giving F’s, but we will if we have to.